I have a confession to make – I’ve been in isolation way before our government told us to stay home.

I have a problem with winter; It’s my least favourite season. I hate all outdoor activities that come with it, and the cold chills me to my bone. During this time, I tend to retreat in my house and only make it outside if necessary.
It’s only when the weather takes a turn that I find the motivation to get out, and that just so happened to be when COVID-19 became a global pandemic.

I guess you can say that I’ve been in isolation for four months now, and fuck is it lonely.

I don’t generally cuss on this blog, but I feel like it’s warranted here.

Since my last post, I’ve been watching friends and family afar try to make normalcy out of this chaos. I see almost daily posts of different learning activities parents think of for their children, people getting to chores that they planned months (or even years) ago, and a lot of people baking bread. The scramble for productivity makes me feel as if I should be doing more than the roller coaster that I’m currently on.

I have days where I will bake that bread or make hummus, but then the following days, you can find me eating cereal for dinner with the pyjamas that I’ve had on the night before. My introverted self wouldn’t mind this quarantine, but since I’ve been self-isolated for so long, I feel like this is my new normal. Do I like it? I’m not even sure. One thing is for sure in my mind, though; nothing will ever be the same again.

There’s a lot of small things that I miss
I miss being able to walk to my local coffee shop and sit amongst the other writers
I miss going to the park with my daughter, even though I only did it once.
I miss getting in my car and driving to my friends’ house five minutes away just to say ‘hi.’
I miss being able to go to the gym and work out my frustrations.

So much has changed in such a little time, for everyone.
I can only imagine how the extroverts are feeling at a time like this. If this introvert is feeling lost and unsure, then how are THEY feeling? WHO WILL LOOK AFTER THE EXTROVERTS? (Kidding)

Someone asked me last week how my anxiety was during all of this, and I just shrugged to myself. Being in a constant state of fear is my jam – this is my normal state. Now you kind of know what my brain goes through daily. Welcome to the suck.

If you’re feeling like me, it’s only normal. There’s no right or wrong way to live out this quarantine. I’m taking it day by day, knowing that the two-week extension on Ontario’s State of Emergency will most likely be extended once again come April. I would mentally prepare for this.

What I will reiterate, as I always do in this blog, is to communicate with someone on how you’re feeling. Your priority during all of this should be your mental health before you check on someone else’s, and PLEASE do check up on those who need it. One thing that I hated the most before COVID-19 happened was video calls, and now, it seems it’s all I do to keep my daughter connected to her family.  In the end, the people who need you the most will remember what you did or didn’t do during this time.

 

I’ve been pretty silent for the last few weeks. It’s hard for me to put into words how our global pandemic has caused distress and flared anxiety in the majority of our population. I’ve been watching online and have seen shortages of toilet paper, hoarding of hand sanitizer and officers standing outside of grocery stores. It’s been one hell of a year this week.

Ontario has made decisions on travel restrictions, lockdowns and closures. We’ve been advised to stay at home for the next two weeks; they’re calling it “social distancing.” As an introvert, I can joke about this situation and mention that I’ve been preparing for this my whole life. In reality, my anxiety hasn’t flared as much as I thought it would. I do plan on staying home in a personal quarantine with my family, not in fear of contracting the COVID-19, but in fear of me potentially becoming a carrier to those who will not be able to fight it off.

I saw a disheartening photo the other day of an older woman doing her shopping with bare shelves. She looked confused, holding an empty bag, and all I could do was cry. We, as a collective, need to think of others in this situation instead of buying rolls of toilet paper that no human can even use within the calendar year. I understand that it can be hard to do when the media is projecting fear on us, but I know deep down that we’re better than this.

One thing that can help anyone with anxiety over what’s going on is to limit your news time. Even though we all want to keep up to date with what is going on, 24-hour-news is a compulsive outlet that will keep feeding on your anxiety. Try limiting your time or going on a mini-hiatus

The best thing to take my mind off of anything is to stay busy. I’ve decided to start my spring cleaning, but you can do it in any other way, like exercising, finishing off those craft projects, etc.

If you find yourself in a worrying state, don’t forget to breathe and practice grounding techniques. You can see examples online or within my blog – but I keep breathing exercises saved on my phone for moments like these.

Don’t google your symptoms. Dr. Google never helped anyone. If you DO feel flu-ish or short of breath, stay at home and call your doctor. They will let you know whether or not to obtain more critical care if needed.

And last but not least, don’t forget that your anxiety is not permanent. I know right now it feels like this will never end, but even in a crisis like this, we need to remember to keep things in perspective.