How to overcome Financial Anxiety

One of the biggest hurdles that most people get anxious about is their finances. Just the stress alone could be debilitating, and it might even feel impossible to overcome.  I have struggled with finances for a good chunk of my life, and for the longest time I blamed my guardians for not teaching me the right way – but now as I look back I realize that they too did not have the best grasp on it as well.

So, how can we cope will financial anxiety?

  • Set a budget and check in with yourself regularly
    A budget is one of the hardest things that you’ll have to do because you cannot lie to yourself here. You need to make sure that all coffees, muffins, hair appointments, etc. are captured. Once you have an understanding of your wants/needs, you will be able to prioritize what is important to you.
  • Assess how you react to spending
    Start paying attention to how you react whenever you (or your family) is spending money. Do you overspend to compensate for the discomfort? If you start to become aware of how you feel during each financial situation, you’ll be able to make better and logical decisions.
  • Saving
    Most people feel as if they cannot save any money due to their debt. It doesn’t matter how big your debt is; people will still stress and over think about it because it’s a constant worry that you’re not saving enough or putting enough down. As long as you’re putting money down towards your debt, it’s not lost money.
  • Reward Yourself
    I’m not saying to go out and spend a frivolous amount of money on yourself at the end of each month, but don’t punish yourself either! One of the rewards that I give myself is coffee – even though I make it every day at home, I still like to frequent a local coffee shop to sit and enjoy their brew.
  • Power of Touch
    You would be surprised how much physical touch can help anyone. Even a small exchange of a hug can help reduce stress by up to 30%. My husband and I like to offer each other massages a few times a month to alleviate any type of stress that we might have, and I highly encourage getting a hug from a loved one whenever things get too overwhelming. If for some reason you cannot find anyone to exchange a hug with, sweat it out!

If you still find that you’re anxious about your situation, there is no shame in seeking out a financial advisor. There is no purpose to staying up at night and worrying about your finances – nothing will magically appear or disappear. You need to learn how to calm your mind and gain more confidence!

Networking: Sex Up your Brand

Two weeks ago I attended a Networking event with a colleague. It was her first speaking engagement, and I offered my help weeks previously, but as the days were getting closer to the event, I could feel my body almost rejecting the notion that I would be in a room full of strangers. You have no idea how badly I wanted to cancel on her, but, I know that I couldn’t. She needed me, and I was not going to let some silly anxiety get in the way of that.

The week leading up to the event, I noticed that I was trying to ‘psych’ myself up for it. I kept reiterating in my head all the positive outcomes that could potentially come from the both of us going and it honestly helped ease my nerve for a little while.

I went to go pick her up to drive us both to the venue and on my way to her place I caught myself doing breathing exercises. I was assuming that roughly 50 people would arrive and I needed to prepare for it. It seems silly that I need to prepare mentally – but whenever I go into a situation without expectation or knowledge, I find myself drowning.

We were the first to arrive, and I was elated, I was able to walk around and scope out the floor plan. I always need to know where my exits are, in case I get into a panic and need the fresh air.  My colleague was the last on the docket of three speakers, so I was able to get comfortable in my little spot in the corner. The first two speakers were drab & boring, and I was fighting to keep my eyes awake… but when she went up on the stage, I was blown away. She was collected, informed & engaged the tiresome group. Her enthusiasm rubbed off on me and instantly made me feel better to be by her side. Whenever I hang around people that brush off this positivity, it’s difficult not to get caught up in it. This distraction is vital when it comes to anxiety!

I’m glad that I was able to be there for her and see her shine in her element! If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t even fathom going to another networking event, but she pushed me to believe that I can.  I highly recommend Sex Up Your Brand and am happy to be involved in this amazing company

This is me

A lot of people don’t notice that I have anxiety – my quirkiness & randomness that I’ve procured over the years has masked it so well that my label is the eccentric of the group. I tend to be quite reclusive when it comes to my anxiety; I hold a lot in while I still smile on the outside. I feel too much, but go on with my day, even if I want to crawl under my comforter and camp out for the day. On the outside, to everyone else, it may seem like I have my life together. However, no matter how many great and positive things are going on in my life, I’m in constant fear of what I can lose. I can thank my past for that, and unfortunately, no matter how many times people try to reassure me, it’s still festering in the back of my brain.

Anxiety is always there, it never disappears. It shows up in different forms throughout the day like panic spouts, over-thinking, stress-sweating, migraines, etc. You name it; I most likely have experienced it. I’ve developed several habits of picking at my skin, playing with my hair & crossing my arms frequently. Since I was a kid, it was made clear that I needed to be seen and not heard, and unfortunately, that mentality was consistent until I left my surroundings at the age of 19. I was berated for being different and continuously told everything was my fault. You start to believe it, and instead of getting treated for anxiety, I felt alone and silent. Anxious feelings find a way to try and consume you, continually battling every day, you have no time off from it.

I’ve been on high alert recently. A lot of small things have just been piling on top of one another, and I feel I’m at a bottleneck point.

My usual step to combat this is to distract myself. I keep myself overly busy when I really should be doing the opposite. I throw myself into work and plug away, so I’m not alone with my thoughts for too long. I’ll reach out to everyone surrounding me to listen to their issues and offer advice when in reality I wish someone would do the same for me. I continuously strive for perfection, but I’m my own worst critic and will ‘beat myself up’ for not getting something done off of my to-do list. I’m so hard on myself, but I’m so happy that I went to therapy so I could understand that all humans make mistakes and things will be OK.

Even though I know this, whenever things get this stressful, I isolate myself. Isolation has been the coping mechanism that I’ve developed from a young age, and this is my comfort. Even though I do this, I find myself lonely. Friends and some family don’t understand why certain things are hard for me, why I leave events without notice or have a hard time accepting a compliment. They’ve all come to accept this as “my thing” and have stopped inviting me out or checking up on me. I’ve been having a hard time accepting this at this point in my life, but a great friend reminded me that it’s not the quantity of your tribe, but the quality. I know she’s right, and I wish I could push through this feeling, but I’m finding it harder than usual. It’s most likely because I give 100% of myself to my friends, and when that effort isn’t reciprocated, I feel as if my energy went to waste.

I’ll continue to push on because that’s what I do. Years ago I made a promise to myself that I would never let myself be a doormat again – I am transparent, honest and blunt. I will never apologize for who I am – this is me.

Dealing with change

One of my biggest triggers is a drastic change; especially when it comes out of the blue. This past week a colleague was laid off due to a corporate reorganization, and I was utterly shocked (not to mention other co-workers as well). I didn’t take it well, we had worked together for almost five years at several jobs and grew a fun & sarcastic friendship. He knew about my anxiety, understood it and always offered advice to combat it. I excused myself from work for the rest of the day and decided that I had cried enough for the both of us.

What would he do in this situation? I tried to ask myself as I paced around my house. I instantly knew what I had to do – I started with jumping jacks, roughly for 10 minutes. INHALER ANDREA his voice echoed in my head as I stopped to grasp for my breath and medicine. For the next 40 minutes, I worked out in our humid house, sweating all of my frustrations out. Two months ago I decided to work out more after losing my breath from running up a flight of stairs. I got nothing but encouragement from him – he was very active himself, and he always lived by moto to keep moving. I felt instantly better afterward, even though I knew the next day I had to adapt to him not being around.

I know at the end of the day that everything happens for a reason, but I still find myself anxious ridden whenever something unexpected happens. Just this act can bring me down as a whole, thinking that I can’t even get something like this under control when other aspects are so much easier to maintain. DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP I hear as the week continues. Whether it’s my inner voice or his, who knows, but I agree with it and keep on moving.

Don’t be consumed by fear

It’s been pretty tense around Toronto and the GTA, every time you turn on the local news station you hear about the next victim that’s stabbed, beaten or shot. We had a close one to home just recently, where an apartment complex 5 minutes down the road was taped off for attempted murder. I was none the wiser, already curled up at home and nodding off. The next morning it was still sealed off which naturally made me anxious, but I had to remind myself that it will be OK and everything will turn out fine.

It’s tough to see the bright side of the world when all you see around you is negativity and despair. I was talking to my father recently, and he wasn’t shy to let me know that he was nervous for my husband and I. I validated his concerns but I also had to remind him that we’re not the only city in Canada that has crime or a murder rate. In fact, I just looked it up, and Toronto isn’t even in the top 10 (I’m shocked).

I live just on the outskirts of Toronto, so I don’t feel as anxious, but the fact that I’m noticing more shootings and stabbings in my area is a little alarming. I also work in Toronto, too, so whenever I drive into work, I do get a ping of nervousness.
I’m not going to let fear dictate my life – I made that promise to myself a decade ago. I can hide from the world, I can move to a different city, I can even build a fallout shelter from the impending zombie war but what is that going to solve? It just gives power to those who are trying to instill fear inside of us, and I refuse to let that happen. Of course, still turn on the news, be informed – but don’t stop your life and don’t be afraid.

Anxiety & Superpowers

I’ve had a handful of people come up to me and ask me why I started this blog. It’s hard to pinpoint the correct answer as I can talk about this for hours – however, I do not shy away from the fact that I am proud to share my experiences and be a voice for others who cannot find their own.

I do this for the people who think they are alone navigating their anxiety, who believe that this is a burden they will never get rid of, who hide within thinking that if they pipe up no one will care.

Anyone who lives with anxiety will be able to agree that it is not easy. We’re in a constant state of worry, so it’s hard to find the positive side sometimes, but trust me, it’s there. Over-worrying is a blanketed term that touches all types of anxiety, and even though it can be a vice, I can see it in a favorable light as well. As the year’s pass, I feel my anxiety evolve, and my worrying has become more ‘reasonable’ to me. Sometimes I feel as if It’s a test or just my body needs to be on the ball. Dr. Jeremy Coplan, a study researcher of psychiatry at State University of New York Downstate Medical Center, explained that although most people tend to view anxiety as a negative thing, it is linked to intelligence. He goes on to suggested that even though anxiety can be disabling at times, there are some situations where there is a dangerous situation and that excessive worry becomes useful and adaptive.

Aside from intelligence, I tend to think that anxious people are also the most creative! My imagination runs wild at times, and I’m pretty sure that it’s associated with my over-worrying. I can find myself in a creative state, and like a flip of a switch, I am taken through my anxious roots almost immediately. I find it hard to channel sometimes, but I know that I can – the only issue is trying to navigate it and I’m still in that learning process!

The last and final thing that I love about my anxiety (Yes, I just said love!) is that I have gotten so good at reading people and my empathy has grown so incredibly much! So much so that I can now take on anyone’s emotion that is standing around me. It can get confusing at times because I don’t know if what I’m feeling is, in fact, MY emotion but the fact that I can tune in to specific energies almost makes me feel like I have superpowers!

I love helping out others and the fact that my anxiety gives me these positive outlooks makes me realize that overall, it’s not so bad. You need to learn how to adapt & overcome as the years go on, or of course, just be Batman.

It’s almost the end of summer in Canada, which means that I’ve been trying to get in as much face-time with those surrounding me. It’s been great catching up with everyone and discussing everything under the sun, however, what I wasn’t expecting was a general tone of disappointment.

It’s something that concerns all walks of life, and it’s how we treat one another as human beings. I never thought that the words “Kids have no respect these days” would parse through my lips at the tender age of 32, but you can bet I’ve said it more than once in the last couple of weeks. I would like to amend that sentence, however, and say that no one has respect these days. At least, that’s the perception of everyone these past weeks!

It boils down to how we treat one another; the fact that we do not care or respect anyone who is different from us is quite alarming. I see people continually putting others down for not getting something right away, for feeling anxious over something small or wearing an off-putting shirt. Why do we do this? What’s the point of berating someone for not being like you?

No one person is going to be an exact clone of you and nothing that you’re doing in your life can be marked as “perfect,” either.

Maybe if everyone got off of their high horse and realized we’re all standing at the same start point their perception could change.

Life is so much more than just one person or one family. It’s OK to be selfish once in a while, but if you base your life on the motto to “look after yourself.” you’ll start to see your private world shrink from existence. We all thrive off of one another, and the smallest action has a huge impact. We need to change who we are as a society and our negative impacts on each other and CHOOSE to build each other up.

Can you imagine what our world would be like if we all made this small change?